Captivity survivor Romi Gonen parted from her friend Gaya Halifa, who was murdered at the Nova Music festival.
Survivor of Hamas captivity, Romi Gonen, read parting words at the grave of her good friend Gaya Halifa, who was with her at the Nova Music Festival on October 7th, 2023.
“Gayul, today is Memorial Day for the Victims of Terror. This is the first time I get to partake in something that’s connected to you. It’s so difficult that it’s in the worst and saddest situation possible. How I waited to part from you, but properly, like you deserve, and like I deserve,” she stated.
She continued: “A year and a half passed. A year and a half since I saw you roll your eyes and breathe your last breath. A year and a half since you were murdered. I assume that for most of the people here, it hasn’t settled in, like it hasn’t for me. The only problem is that until three months ago, I felt everyone’s loss, and as far as I was concerned, you were supposed to come really soon. I’m still waiting to sit and tell you everything, I’ll cry to you, I’ll be mad with you, I’ll just be with you. I miss you so much, and it’s just not fair. It’s not fair that every time I think of you, I remember your last moment, and not your beautiful face, or our joyful moments in South America when we didn’t know fear or sorrow.
“Everyone who knows us knew that we are Gaya and Romi, Romi and Gaya. Everyone knew that we were a special pair who completes each other. It’s not for nothing that we were together for seven months without parting. It seems that your last mission in life was to help me. You were so patient and good-hearted, no matter how annoying and frustrating I was. It was always important for you to listen, help, give space when needed, and sometimes hug tightly and not leave. I know that they always say how good someone who died was, but with Gaya, it’s different. She wasn’t just good, she was a guardian angel during her life for so many people.
“I think that anyone who is here today knows that you can’t say one bad characteristic. The only thing that comes to mind is that I would go crazy at how calm and nice she was to everyone, and hell, that was the nicest thing about her. For a long time in captivity, I tried to convince myself that Gaya wasn’t dead, that maybe a doctor managed to come and save her on time. Deep inside, I knew she was dead; I saw it myself. I’m just not ready to accept it, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. Within a few hours, our lives were turned totally upside down; you were murdered, and I was abducted. That’s not what we planned. We planned life together. To go to parties, to fly around the world, to sit and talk until the middle of the night. How does this make sense? You just don’t deserve this, we don’t deserve this.”
Gonen added: “Your amazing family accompanies and embraces me, or may I actually embrace them. Sigal always tells me that she feels you when she touches me. And you know what, sister? I really feel it, you. You’re always with me, showing me signs, you come to me in my dreams. You’re always trying to talk to me, and I’m afraid that I’m not in a place yet to hear. It’s not fair that we didn’t get to hug, that I didn’t get to say thanks for who and what you are to me. Thanks for teaching me how to love without conditions, to be patient, and to be full of compassion. Thanks for teaching me to let go and live in the moment, because that’s what’s really important. Thanks for being there for me every day and every hour, for any nonsense or advice. Thanks for not giving up on me. Your presence in my life is so missed. There’s so much I want to tell you that you would laugh about or get mad about, or tell me off that I should have acted differently.
“You would have loved how sharp I am and how much I’ve learned in the past year. You would have laughed at how unlucky I am and how typical of me it was to be abducted to Gaza. You would have fought for me like crazy until the moment I got home. I just would. Forever, when I look at the sun, you will shine on me. I love you and miss you so much that it hurts and chokes me.”
