Clarifying some of the laws of modesty in an interview with Rabbi Mordechai Tzion.
At the end of Parshat Balak, we encounter the plot of Bilaam to inflict damage on Am Yisrael via the immodesty of the women of Moav. Rabbi Shlomo Aviner, head of Yeshivat Ateret Yerushalayim, clarifies some of the laws of modesty in this interview with Rabbi Mordechai Tzion.
Q: Summertime is upon us when many women tend to dress more immodestly than during the winter months. What grade would you give to the Dati-Leumi public when it comes to issues of modesty in dress and behavior?
A: Unfortunately, not very high. This does not mean that, Heaven forbid, all the clothing is immodest, but many women have some garments that are against the halakha (Jewish law).
Q: Don’t we measure things by the majority…
A: Not in this case. Just as we don’t go by the majority regarding Shabbat, or regarding a vegetable salad when most of it is kosher. Eerything that Hashem has spoken, we shall do and obey. Everything must be modest.
Q: And what is considered modest clothing?
A: (a) That it covers most of the body. (b) That it is not tight. (c) That it does not attract attention by its shape or its color.
Q: What causes a God-fearing woman, including rebbetzins (wives of rabbis), to wear immodest clothes?
A: Two reasons, as written in the book Geder HaOlam of the Chafetz Chaim about modesty: laziness to dress according to the halakha, and the temptation which persuades a woman to beautify herself in front of others.
Q: And what causes a woman to want to beautify herself in front of others?
A: The Maharal explains in Netiv HaTzniut that modesty is the result of humility. A humble woman, who does not want people to be impressed by her, is naturally modest.
Q: Many women who dress immodestly claim that they do so not because of its impact on others, but because that’s how they feel good with themselves.
A: They must make a true self-accounting: do they also dress that way immediately when they get up in the morning, or only when they go outside? On the contrary, the sages said that a woman should be beautiful at home for her husband, and covered when she goes outside. Happy is the modest woman; may Hashem bless her.
Q: And if she is single and therefore looking for a husband?
A: Nonsense. Does she truly want a husband who will choose her because of her looks or because of her soul?! This is the rule: every woman and girl must make a personal accounting of what she gains from immodest clothing and what she loses.
Q: What about a man? Shouldn’t a man be modest too?!
A: Of course he should. See Kitzur Shulchan Aruch chapter 3: even when he is alone, and even at night, because the Holy One, Blessed Be He, fills the whole earth with His glory. But with a woman, it’s more severe.
Q: Why?
A: Because she sins and causes many others to sin. It’s both a transgression between man and God and between man and his fellow. How will she ask forgiveness from all the people she has caused to stumble?! Perhaps hundreds of thousands!
Q: But even if she is dressed very modestly, there are still men who will look at her.
A: True. But then it’s not her responsibility. However, if she is not modest, it is her responsibility.
Q: Can a woman’s lack of modest dress lead other women to copy her example?
A: Yes, unfortunately. Of course, not every woman will ape her. There are women who are very modest. May Hashem bless them. They aren’t swayed by any passing fashion. And in general, they are not less wise, less active in the community, or less accomplished. One sees in old photographs how modestly religious women once dressed! How even secular, non-believing women dressed! How modestly gentile women dressed!
Q: Is there any benefit in publishing an interview like this which many women will ignore? Some might even become angry.
A: If so, then this interview was not written for them. No one forces them to read it. It’s for women whose fear of Heaven touches their hearts.
Q: What is the minimum that must be covered?
A: Why talk about a minimum? Why not a maximum? Do we eat a minimum? Do we buy minimal furniture? Do we earn minimal money? So why should the service of Hashem be minimal?! By the way, there are many women who are truly careful in all areas, even in all sorts of stringencies regarding kashrut of food, yet there is one area that is breached -modesty. The Vilna Gaon writes that modesty is the most important mitzvah for a woman. One must learn from Sarah our Matriarch and from all our biblical women of valor.
Q: For some women modesty is a burden.
A: Perhaps. So one needs strength and courage. The Torah was not given to people with an ideology of surrendering to their desires. Who is a hero? One who conquers his inclination. Furthermore, the mitzvot of the Torah are truly sweet and pleasant and beloved and delightful. A long sleeve brings happiness. A long dress brings happiness. Quiet colors bring happiness. A covered neckline brings happiness.
Q: I saw a pamphlet for young girls and teenagers called “Bnot Melachim” (Daughters of Kings), all about modesty. Is that too young an age?
A: On the contrary – when pure education starts from a young age, it becomes deeply ingrained in the soul.
Q: In summary?
A: The important factor for a woman is to pursue the paths of humility and modesty, and to increase the soul’s yearning for greater closeness to God.
